September 17, 2012

Biggest post-divorce regrets

Having gone through marriages that ultimately failed, divorced individuals often have some of the best advice for how to make a marriage work. Divorcees have a perspective that other people may lack, which can make them more attuned to common problems that plague wedded couples. A psychologist with the University of Michigan recently collected responses from individuals who have gone through a divorce to learn what they most regretted about their marriages.

Even couples who make a concerted effort to make their marriages work may eventually decide to divorce. In some cases, separation is the best way to deal with an unhappy and dysfunctional marriage. In order to ensure the divorce process goes smoothly, Michigan residents considering divorce should consult with a qualified family law attorney. This is the best way to ensure their interests are properly represented in a divorce settlement or trial.

The University of Michigan psychologist gathered data from 373 couples during their first year of marriage. She then collected the responses of 210 of these respondents who eventually divorced their spouses, 44 percent of whom later remarried.

Many of the respondents recommend that married couples spend more time talking, with 41 percent claiming communication would be the number one aspect they would change in subsequent relationships. It is especially important for married couples to consider each other’s perspectives on important issues. Because money is typically a contentious issue in many marriages, the psychologist recommended that couples make a concerted effort to frequently talk about their finances. “Talk money more often,” she explained. “Not just when it’s tax time, when you have high debt, when bills come along.”

Another common regret among divorced individuals was that they and their partner did not frequently enough demonstrate their care and love for each other. Experts say that even small displays of affection, such as holding hands or regularly complimenting each other, can significantly strengthen a relationship.

Source: Care2, “5 Biggest Regrets Divorced People Have About Their Marriages,” Caitlyn Hitt, Aug.