January 16, 2013

Handling a spouse’s decision to leave

Hearing that your spouse intends to leave you is never easy. It can be immensely stressful to deal with such news, with multiple concerns racing through your head at the same time. You may find yourself picking apart your relationship to determine what went wrong, pleading with your partner to reconsider and worrying about a potential divorce. However, it is important to remain calm during this time and avoid guilt, self-blame and other common but often destructive emotions.

While a spouse explaining that he or she plans to leave does not always mean that a divorce is on the horizon, it is important to take appropriate precautions in case such an outcome occurs. However, preparing for divorce is typically complex and time-consuming, making it worthwhile to meet with a qualified Michigan attorney specializing in family law to ensure that your assets, children and rights are protected in the event of a divorce. You do not have to make any major decisions until you know about your spouse’s plans, but having a lawyer ready ensures that you will not be unpleasantly surprised. This also allows you to focus your attention on other matters.

It is important to avoid blaming yourself for a partner’s decision to end your relationship. His or her reasons for leaving may be related to you, but a committed spouse will always discuss his or her problems or issues with you before considering such a drastic course of action; if he or she has already resolved to leave, you likely would not have been able to change the decision. You should still consider your role in the breakup, but never view it as entirely your fault.

Instead of falling prey to negative thoughts and pessimism, stay positive and think of a potential divorce as an opportunity to pursue new interests, start a new life and grow as a person.

Source: Huffington Post, “What To Do When Your Partner is Thinking Of Leaving,” Andrea Wachter, Jan. 3, 2012